20 Things to Eat at a Feast

Feasts are a wonderful opportunity to bond with a prospective patron, learn the local customs or investigate a shady nobleman. Servants carry dish after steaming dish to all in attendance as the host attempts to impress by demonstrating his wealth and power.

Feast by Manly Hall

Feast by Manly Hall

 

From the first course to the last, the grand meal is a festival for all senses. But what, exactly, is on each platter? Use the table below to get your players’ mouths watering and transform a forgettable scene into an unforgettable extravaganza.

  1. A giant roast bat, skewered and dripping, its leathery wings folded underneath to catch the juices (which can be used as a dip).
  2. A platter of green scorpions, with a mustard dipping sauce and tiny silver tools for cracking open the shells.
  3. The heavily spiced remains of a fungus leshy cut into thick slabs and sweating a clear, thick liquid.
  4. A quivering plate of some pink ooze, replete with full red cherries, goat cream and cinnamon. By its movements, the ooze does not seem entirely dead.
  5. A platter presenting kebabs of buttered thrushes, garnished in a heavy sauce of thyme and plated with three brown feathers.
  6. A giant bright red crab covered in hundreds of calcite horns, his every leg enough to fill a man to brimming.
  7. A pungent turtle soup with a hundred floating turtle eggs, served in the mother’s own shell and punctuated with cloves.
  8. A long snake stretched from one end of the table to the other and garnished with lemons. Each guest may cut off a piece of the tangy meat.
  9. A massive dragon eggs omelet parceled onto half a dozen plates, it’s incubating fetus divvied up and served as an hors d’oeuvre.
  10. A tiny clay homunculus scampers across the table, generating cool water for the guests with the help of a glowing water sigil.
  11. A plate of quivering brown blobs which can only be the marrow from griffon bones. They are lightly marinated in butter and smell divine.
  12. A two-headed boar overflows its bronze platter, a gleaming red apple forced into each of its tusked mouths.
  13. A roast porcupine with mint sprigs and honey, for diners bold enough to navigate the sharp quills.
  14. A small dish of fried wolf cheese garnished with a touch of slime mold, not for the weak of stomach or faint of heart.
  15. A stack of the pomegranate-like fruit of the assassin vine. It’s best not to think of how it got its crimson color.
  16. Dragon steaks, amusingly spiced with hot peppers and cayenne despite the obvious blue color of the inedible scales.
  17. The deep fried hand of an unfortunate forest troll, though he has no doubt grown it back by now.
  18. Strips of pan fried manticore flesh, marinated in the beast’s own venom for a pleasant sour kick.
  19. Small chunks of candied brain ooze with crushed walnuts, easy to eat with a pleasant crunchy texture.
  20. A bouquet of salted snake heads apparently cut from a medusa. However, their appearance seems rather mundane; the host may be trying to fool his guests!

Final Word

A GM can use the exotic foods listed above in other venues beyond a traditional feast. Perhaps the party are dining in a fantastically high-class tavern famed for its culinary offerings or they have broken into the home of some mad, corpulent nobleman obsessed with eating.


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This article will appear in GM’s Miscellany: 20 Things II, available in March 2017. For more, check out our Free Resources page.

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Guest Post

This is a guest post. Thanks very much to Jeff Gomez for taking the time to write up such a great piece and send it in. I hope you enjoy it.

Jeff Gomez’s steady migration has taken him from sunny southern California to snowy Boston, and then back again. Now the proud owner of a self-sustaining online business, he devotes his time to his blog, Zenith Games, and freelance writing for RPG publishers. In addition to products on his website, such as Jacob’s Tower, Jeff has written adventures, edited universes, collaborated on classes, and line directed source books (over 800k words in 2015 alone).

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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