I Loot the Druid’s Body

Adventurers are always looting the bodies of their vanquished foes. Often the GM simply reads off the villain’s equipment list and the players move on. In this situation, beyond armour, weapons, magic items and some coin most foes never seem to carry anything of minor interest. This doesn’t help the GM diligently trying to breathe life and verisimilitude into his campaign.

By William McAusland (Outland Arts)

By William McAusland (Outland Arts)


Enter I Loot the Druid’s Body. Within, find three tables packed full of flavoursome druid outfits and other accoutrements along with the random things found in a druid’s pouch. Use them to enliven the looting in your campaign today!

I Loot the Druid’s Body is available in both Pathfinder compatible and System Neutral Edition; scroll down for more details!

Extract: Druid’s Outfit

  1. This bodysuit has dozens of seven-inch-long porcupine spines sticking out of it.
  2. This briny-smelling pair of fleshy leggings repairs cuts and tears inflicted upon it.
  3. This cape is sewn together from hundreds of hummingbird wings.
  4. The tail is still attached to the cloak made from a manta ray; a system of woven threads allows the wearer to whip the tail around.
  5. This patchwork outfit seems to be composed of hide from animals the druid killed.
  6. Dark green, woollen robes hide a glossy black beetle shell protecting the upper body.
  7. These shaggy leggings end in hooves, giving the impression the wearer is a satyr; a curved pair of horns complements the look.
  8. The silk for this purple-dyed robe comes from exotic moths.
  9. This fur coat has been stitched together from the pelts of numerous domestic cats.
  10. Daisies sprout from the thin layer of soil covering this outfit’s shoulders; the flowers always turn to face the sun, and droop slightly at night.
  11. The druid’s “outfit” consists solely of dried mud smeared all over his body, including his hair.
  12. This tailored baby elephant hide fits an average-sized human; it still has the elephant’s tusks.
  13. Live, leafy branches from a yew tree sprout from this suit of brown leather armour.
  14. Bark encircles the druid’s upper body; holes allow the wearer’s arms to move freely.
  15. This cloak fashioned from the hide of a marine creature is always damp.
  16. These black and red robes reveal red wolf’s paws when the wearer extends his or her arms.
  17. Horse manes and tails make up the entirety of this outfit, which is extraordinarily itchy.
  18. Light seems to refract around the wearer of this suit crafted from translucent fish scales.
  19. Filth covers this collection of rags, which smells of vinegar and musk.
  20. Badges sewn onto the shirt and trousers indicate various mundane achievements (for example, “started fire without assistance” and “speared a fish”) performed by the wearer.

Extract: Natural Accoutrements

  1. This walking stick carved from a willow tree sinks into the ground when above an underground water source.
  2. This net contains a pair of monarch butterflies attempting to free themselves.
  3. A cage dangling from the druid’s belt holds a pair of ferrets; they haven’t eaten in days.
  4. This eighteen-point rack of antlers reaches 2 feet out at its furthest point.
  5. An oversized wasp’s stinger tips each yellow-and-black fletched dart in this bundle.
  6. It is difficult to pull apart this garland of flowers tied together at the stems.
  7. A clear prism hangs from a leather strap; looking through it is disorienting as it shifts through a series of vibrant hues.
  8. This jade ouroboros bracelet looks like a tree python; it squeezes when placed on the wrist.
  9. This bronze ring, fashioned in interlocking strips, has a chunk of lodestone for an inset.
  10. A withered sprig of mistletoe is pinned just above the druid’s heart.
  11. This iron brand, still warm to the touch, has a circle around the letter “T”.
  12. This spiked club sprinkles water when swung; examining the club reveals no water inside.
  13. This plague doctor’s mask is fashioned from the skull of a large carrion-eating bird.
  14. Crafted from petrified wood, this staff delivers surprising sharp blows.
  15. This maple staff bleeds sap at irregular intervals.
  16. These blackened acorns appear to have powered a fiery spell at one point.
  17. These earmuffs made of crow feathers provide protection from the wind and cold, but they gently caw in the wearer’s ears.
  18. This oversized oaken staff has claws at one end, giving the impression the owner carved it from a treant.
  19. A large medallion on a chain features a smiling sun on one side and a frowning moon on the reverse.
  20. The brightly coloured headdress serves in rituals beseeching nature for specific weather.

Extract: Pouch Contents

  1. Death’s head moths flutter listlessly in this jar.
  2. Dark green spots cover this potato that has sprouted five-inch-long roots.
  3. Upon opening the pouch, the stink of rotten eggs permeates the air; a pair of stuck together greenish things that could have once been called eggs are the apparent source.
  4. This vial, labelled “defoliant,” holds a yellow liquid. A pungent smell escapes the closed vial.
  5. Tailless rats glare with demonically red eyes at the intrusion, when the pouch is opened.
  6. This pale moonstone glows when exposed to the light of a full moon.
  7. This delicious green apple has a fat worm wriggling around in it.
  8. The honey dripping from this honeycomb smells bitter.
  9. This trio of oddly shaped, purple-blotched bird eggs show cracks as if they are about to hatch.
  10. To the knowledgeable observer these shiny black berries are actually belladonna.
  11. This severed frog leg twitches as if propelling its former owner in the air.
  12. Live spiders scurry out of the pouch, when it is opened.
  13. A skunk puppet made from the cured hide of a skunk and preserved skull; rough onyxes rest in its eye sockets, and its musk gland is still intact.
  14. All but the index finger of this withered monkey’s paw are curled tightly into its palm
  15. A packet of kibble, labelled “for death dog.”
  16. A fresh clump of red clay has stained everything else in the pouch.
  17. Fangs of increasing length pierce this foot-long swath of silk, at regular intervals.
  18. A jar contains a pair of bull’s testicles in a preserving solution.
  19. Steam rises from this lump of still cooling lava.
  20. This mould-covered ball sends out tiny feelers when someone touches it.

Praise for I Loot the Druid’s Body

“Well…basically, at this point, all you have to know is that Mike Welham wrote this. He consistently delivers some of the most awesome, inspiring, diverse dressing-files – from the mundane to the magical, from the classic to the weird, from the hilarious to the uncanny, Mike’s dressing show a level of diversity that is basically unreached – and this is no different.”

–Endzeitgeist (five stars + seal of approval)

Loot_DruidsBodyCover_220A Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Compatible GM’s Resource by Mike Welham

Released 14 March 2016; Pages 10

PDF ($2.45) d20pfsrd, DriveThruRPG, Paizo, RPGNow, Warehouse 23 or sign up to Raging Swan’s Patreon campaign before 10 March and get it for $2!

Download a Free Sample I Loot the Druids Body: Pouch Contents



A System Neutral Edition GM’s Resource by Mike Welham

Released 14 March 2016; Pages 10

PDF ($2.45) DriveThruRPG, RPGNow

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